E Portfolio Writing - My Camp Experience

Describe It - Camp Experiences

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

Giant swing

The trees shake violently in rage. The wind gets cold like being in caved in ice. The screams of the small-sized being shaken the earth. The faces of the the mid size lifeforms became as white as a ghost pepper.as it all stops the body's of some of shake violently.The leaves falls in loneliness.
The branches are motionless and still.The hearts of the small humans beat to the speed of sound. The pull of death is most tricky on fall you scream your little head off.

Student Reflection: 
In my writing, one of my goals is to attempt complex punctuation
I did not show this goal here because  I did not have the ability to yet because I don't understand how to
In my writing one of my goals is to spell most words correctly
I did show this goal here because I used words that I did know and tried my best

My next step is to find out how to use complex punctuation in my sentences and continue with my spelling.

Teacher Comment:
Great use of adjectives in this piece of writing David! You have used language features like similes to engage the reader. Be careful to not repeat words too many times as they can lose their effect. I'm glad you enjoyed camp.